THERE’S an old story about England and World Cup finals series – that it takes them almost two years to get into one and less than two weeks to get out again.

That jibe is then quickly followed by defenders of the faith claiming that it will be different his time. Or any lack of excitement is really all the opposition’s fault because they only come to Wembley to defend.

When you remember that England’s group opponents are Slovakia (FIFA ranked 25th), Slovenia (58th), Scotland (67th), Lithuania (107th) and mighty Malta (182nd), it’s hardly a major surprise that they might set out to ‘park the bus.’ England are ranked 14th.

A 2-0 win over Lithuania means that they have now played five games without letting in a goal and have scored eight.

They will, as they often do, win the group and then fly out to Russia with totally unreal expectations on their shoulders.

England are probably the world’s greatest qualifiers. They have not lost since Fabio Capello’s team were beaten 1-0 by Ukraine back in 2009, a run of 34 games without defeat.

That’s an impressive figure ahead of the big events, but it is going to take more than a run of victories against a string of also-rans to put a smile on the faces of England supporters. Or their critics.

It seems that England can never play a single game without leaving behind something to moan about.

The sound of the referee’s final whistle had scarcely faded when they were on the phone-ins. The win over Lithuania was boring, same old England, no spark, Southgate is the wrong man etc, etc.

Robbie Savage enjoyed it more than most, suggesting England should be getting four or five against a team that isn’t even in the world’s top hundred.

Job done, was the counter argument from co-host Jason Mohammad. But the job isn’t done – England have five more games before they can book their trip to Russia.

That’s when the serious stuff starts – all the rest is just a dress rehearsal. And we are very good at those.

Southgate wants to be called Gareth, not Gaffer. We will have to wait and see what England supporters will be calling him next June.

IS there something in the air at Leicester that is bad for your health if you happen to be the boss of a sports club?

No sooner have Leicester City sacked the most successful manager in the club’s history than the rugby club have trumped that. A few months ago they dispensed with the services of Richard Cockerill and on Saturday they showed the door to former All Black Aaron Mauger to make way for another new coach Matt O’Connor.

SHOULD we be celebrating Barrow Raiders’ 82-0 win over Hemel Stags or taking a wider view by asking what on earth is happening to the game at our level?

I have never bought the idea that the way to expand rugby league is to stick pins in a map in uncharted areas and make believe that the game is growing.

Hemel and Oxford, two of the expansion clubs, operate largely out of West Yorkshire and, even with the help of some of that area’s dual-registered players, are totally out of their depth.

And how can the Raiders hope to attract decent crowds when even their most diehard fans know that Hemel, Oxford, South Wales Ironmen, Gloucester All Golds and North Wales Crusaders – all visitors to Craven Park this season – are unlikely to offer even token opposition.

Fewer than 750 were at Craven Park on Saturday evening (back to Sundays, please!) and only 375 turned up to see Whitehaven’s Challenge Cup tie against Oxford.

On attendances like that, rugby league is not expanding – it is being strangled in places where it should be thriving.

The league must find a reason to promote Barrow Raiders at the end of the season or they will be doing the town and the sport a disservice.

ARSENAL were beaten 1-0 by Birmingham at the weekend – and there was not a WENGER OUT banner in sight. The reason – it was a quarter-final tie in the FA Women’s Cup.