High Court judges have long struggled to understand ‘modern music’ and in fact, much of day-to-day life.

They’re dusty old duffers who sit in leather-bound rooms stuffed full of books and ‘torts’ that are deliberately written in legalese so they and barristers can charge a fortune for understanding the weird lingo and the decisions made because of it.

In this country, not understanding much about modern life is accepted as part of the judge’s job, almost a qualification.

(Needless to say, Judge Rinder does not qualify on any level in this).

Famously, Judge James Pickles asked in a court case: “Who are the Beatles?”

Judge James, who died in 2010, had been around long enough to have heard a tune or two from the boys, and to have read a headline or two about the band – even in the The Times or the Daily Telegraph.

Mr Justice Harman appeared not to know who Paul Gascoigne was, when in 1990 ‘Gazza’ brought a court case against the publication of an unauthorised biography.

At the time, Gazza was one of the country’s most famous footballers. Gazza’s lawyer began the case by saying: ‘Mr Gascoigne is a very well-known footballer.’

The judge replied: ‘Rugby or Association?’ Later he asked : “Isn’t there an operetta called La Gazza Ladra?”

In America, judges are more down to earth.

They don’t wear wigs, the whole system is more relaxed and groovy.

So it was no surprise that American Tax Court judge Mark Holmes asked a former lawyer of Michael Jackson what the meaning was of a line from the huge hit Thriller.

He wanted to know the meaning of the rap at the end of the song.

“What exactly does ‘the funk of 40,000 years’ mean?” he asked the lawyer and was told it meant ‘Karma’.

Now, just knowing who Michael Jackson was would earn massive cool points for one of our judges, let alone knowing any songs or even lyrics by him.

All of which got me wondering about the worst lyrics ever written.

There’s Agadoo by Black Lace and Lieutenant Pigeon’s memorable Mouldy Old Dough.

But some ‘classic’ songs are among the worst.

Take I Am The Walrus by The Beatles.

Yes, it is a nonsense song with some meaning in some of it, but what exactly does this mean?

“Semolina Pilchard

Climbing up the Eiffel tower

Elementary penguin singing Hare Krishna

Man, you should have seen them kicking

Edgar Allen Poe”

Then there’s Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen with the ageless:

I see a little silhouetto of a man

Scaramouche, Scaramouche, will you do the Fandango

Thunderbolt and lightning, very, very fright’ning me

(Galileo) Galileo, (Galileo) Galileo, Galileo figaro magnifico

Thin Lizzy’s epic rock-out Jailbreak warns:

“Tonight there’s going to be a jailbreak, somewhere in this town.”

(Erm try the jail, chaps?

And of course, the overblown magnificence of MacArthur Park:

MacArthur’s Park is melting in the dark,

all the sweet, green icing flowing down ...

Someone left the cake out in the rain.

I don’t think that I can take it

‘cause it took so long to bake it

and I’ll never have that recipe again ...

Oh, no!