SMART meters, which tell householders how much energy they are using, aren’t quite so smart after all.

A study by a Dutch university has concluded that the meters (which the UK government wants to see in every household by 2020) are giving readings up to six times higher than the actual energy consumed - and it’s all the fault of energy saving light bulbs, it seems.

Honestly, you couldn’t make it up.

As if paying a fortune for those awful light bulbs isn’t enough, the blasted things are sending the country’s “smart” meters doolally.

I’ve never been keen on these meters anyway. Who wants to spend their time monitoring how much juice they’re using every time they boil the kettle for a cup of tea?

All of which reminds me of when a friend’s husband got a smart meter - and being of a technical bent he found it fascinating. The upshot was that kettle boiling was rationed, and much tutting ensured when the washer was on a fast spin. But he was well and truly tipped over the edge that Christmas when his wife plugged in a huge illuminated family of nodding reindeer in the garden. It made that smart meter go like the clappers. Just as well the reindeer set didn’t use low-energy bulbs.