LONELINESS is one of the biggest killers of the elderly in the UK. Chief reporter SUZANNE MURPHY found out about a scheme aimed at tackling the growing problem locally.

AS it did for many local couples, love blossomed under the glitter ball of the old Barrow Public Hall and Dorothy and Robert have been devoted to each other ever since.

Fifty-nine years later, Dorothy Goude has developed dementia and husband Robert has become her full time carer.

As her condition worsened, the 81-year-old grew increasingly isolated as he looked after his wife for over 50 hours a week at their home in Piel View Grove, Barrow.

Then he discovered a lifeline for them both in the form of the Lottery-funded RespectAbility at Barrow and District Age UK.

The service offers a chance for those over 50 to socialise and take part in a rage of activities from woodwork and IT to cooking. There are also quizzes, arts and craft and chances to reminisce and meet up with old friends and make new ones.

Terry McSorley, outreach worker at Barrow and District Age UK, said: "Initially, Robert was looking for Dorothy to attend RespectAbility for respite with Robert thinking the activities 'were not for him'.

"In August 2015, Dorothy joined our Memory Lane day, with activities specifically tailored for those suffering with memory issues. Initially, despite the best endeavours of our team of staff and volunteers, Dorothy struggled to settle and would often be tearful without the comfort of Robert close by. 

"We spoke with Robert and all agreed it would be beneficial for Dorothy if we could encourage participation. Robert decided to accompany her until she was settled with the intention of withdrawing over time. However, this plan was turned on its head as Robert thoroughly enjoyed his time with us. Both Robert and Dorothy now attend every week and have rekindled old friendships as well as developing new ones."

The couple love attending the Wednesday sessions and it has given them a new lease of life.

Mr Goude, who ran his own painting and decorating firm Goude and Son, explained how it was love at first sight when he met his wife.

He said: "I walked in the Public Hall and she was at the bar. My friend said 'she's very nice' and I said 'she is very nice' and I said to him, 'I'm going to marry her.'"

Three years later they tied the knot and have now been married 56 years. They have three children and Robert puts the success of their long marriage down to "being trustworthy".

The couple had a busy social life and loved traveling but early onset dementia saw Mr Goude's life being taken over by caring for his 78-year-old wife.

He said: "I found out about RespectAbility on the off chance. I was feeling lonely. Now we go every Wednesday and we love it. I have met people I knew many years ago and have made some new friends. We really look forward to it. The staff are really great. I would encourage anyone who is feeling isolated to get in touch and see what is on offer."

RespectAbility has been Lottery-funded for four years and aims to help 800 people. They currently have 400 signed up to the service.

Behind the doors of the building in Abbey Road, Barrow, is a hive of activity.

The fully operational kitchen offers food and recipes for cooking for one. Next door there is a dining room where users can interact. Further along a corridor is The Shed, a fully operational woodwork shop and there's also a room to get up to speed with IT skills. There are also organised walks, music and movement and Wii games sessions.

Mr McSorley said: "RepectAbility is not just about dementia or a single condition. The age range is 50 plus to 90 plus. We do try to match groups of similar age with varying conditions or needs to ensure the appropriate support is delivered to an individual as they may need it.

"Age UK also offers information and advice on benefits and other issues as well as providing a handy person service but there is a charge for that.

"We have found that caring has a wide-ranging effect on the emotional, physical, social and economic well-being of older people. Feelings of isolation are common among older carers, with less free time to keep up with family and friends combined with declining social networks. 

"Having recognised the huge need to support both carers and the cared for in our community, we appreciate that a 'one size fits all approach' is not the answer. When the person cared for attends RespectAbility, we can offer support to their carer either directly - they attend their choice of activities, or indirectly – they do not attend but have guilt-free respite.

"We cannot provide personal care at Age UK but there is so much going on in the RespectAbility programme for people to get involved with.

Although the activities and ventures do have a value, the most important element is the socialisation and interaction with others. It is a tribute to our volunteers who provide such a great service without thought of reward or recognition."           

RespectAbility volunteer 50-year-old Dave Towers said: " I was initially told by the Job Centre that I had to undertake volunteer work to continue to qualify for Employment Support Allowance. I've enjoyed it so much however I have voluntarily doubled the time I commit to it. The clients are really enthusiastic and I enjoy the craic between all in the shed."   

Barrow and District Age UK deputy chief executive Joanne Smith, who was part of the team which submitted the successful bid to the National Lottery, said: "Our objective is to improve people socialisation and minimise their isolation. We will take 800 people through the programme over its four-year life and this will contribute not only to their personal well-being but will also reduce the call on emergency services and visits to GPs. 

"In addition to personal benefits for individuals there is a cross-agency service gain in people engaging with RespectAbility."