By Peter Leach

Last updated at 14:35, Monday, 16 November 2009

Peter Leach

PAIN and I are old friends. I can take pretty much anything and it doesn’t bother me.

I’ve broken a wrist, smashed my nose and fractured ribs never once leaving the pitch.

Hip operations, hernias, cancer treatment – painful, yes, but bother me – not much.

This no macho posturing, it’s just the way it is – mind you being brought up in the 50s and 60s helps.

Back street brick fights, dog bites and spectacular crashes on my brakeless push bike have built up a pain-resistant barrier.

A paid-up member of the “Run it off lad, it’s nowt but a scratch” school of thought.

However, there is one pain I cannot endure without the bulk intake of painkillers.

I speak of a tooth abscess or, more accurately, a pair of said abscesses, from which I have been suffering (and I mean suffering) for the last two to three weeks.

Dictionary definition; An abscessed tooth is a tooth that is in great distress and is usually sensitive and painful.Tell me something I don’t know.

Suffice to say it’s been agony.

Sadly the only prescription drugs prescribed have been penicillin (two lots, one for each abscess).

Denied the opiate family, I resorted to over-the-counter drugs.

And herein lies a shameful confession.

Such has been the pain from my malevolent molars, upper and lower left, that I discarded all dose recommendation for the mountain of pills and potions I have been taking.

Yes I know exceeding the dosage can cause all sorts of nasty intestinal, stomach related sort of problems.

And yes I know there is very real danger abusing drugs of any kind.

However, none of this entered my fevered mind, particularly deep in the night when the demons were gathering and the inflammation was at its most painful.

Besides, I’m a big bloke. I can take it.

“Have you taken these before sir?” the pharmacist enquired politely.

Resisting the urge to say, “And then some love, in industrial quantity,” I mutter, “Yes, thank-you, they’re very good.”

And so they were.

Soluble Paracetamol; Recommended dosage, duly noted and ignored.

Panadol; Don’t exceed eight in one day. Yeah right.

And so on, through the myriad pain-relief remedies on offer at different chemists (I kept on swapping, embarrassed at buying so many).

Mixed and matched in ridiculous amounts, all were swallowed greedily.

My defence; Desperate times need desperate remedies.

And it was a truly desperate time.

Driven to distraction, I’ll take being struck on the head with a brick, crushed in the front row or savaged by a pack of wild dogs any day.

That’s pain I understand, pain with which I can cope.

The offending tooth will be removed tomorrow, joining one similarly dispatched two weeks ago.

On the plus side, my body has thus far survived the chemical onslaught. I am now an aficionado of painkillers.

I recommend the Co-op’s own Ibuprofen – 46p for 20 delightfully petite capsules with just a hint of sweetness.

What’s more they certainly do the business – especially if you double up the dose. Not recommended.

First published at 13:11, Monday, 16 November 2009
Published by http://www.nwemail.co.uk