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Tuesday, 21 October 2014

What it means to be Barrovian

AN email is doing the rounds on the subject of what it means to be a Barrovian.

It is an updated version of an earlier message and it contains a lot of truth.

Called Barrow: The Best Cul-de-Sac In The World it should have many readers nodding in agreement, and might provide a chuckle for those who do not have home computers who may be seeing it for the first time.

The things far-flung Barrovians miss about the town are:

  • The accent.
  • Knowing every other person you pass on the street.
  • The legends — Russ the dog walker, Cheeky Charlie etc.
  • The statue outside McDonalds — reuniting chavs every Saturday.
  • Paulo Giannis — a quid a shot.
  • Not taking a coat on a night out.
  • Going to town just to waste time.
  • Andy’s chippy.
  • Preston Street Working Men’s Club and its inappropriate jukebox.
  • The seagull-killing wind turbines outside Tesco.
  • Pie and peas at parties.
  • Being able to call trousers pants without getting funny looks.
  • Pronouncing the ‘l’ in almond.
  • Walney Bridge.
  • The ice cream at Roa Island.
  • The fact that every night is karaoke night.
  • Having a brew solves everything.
  • The constant gale force wind.
  • Having dinner at 12 and tea at five.
  • The Evening Mail: “I’m not dead” says dog-walker Russ”; “Roose man dies in bid to reach pie.”
  • Pie shops.
  • The hysteria when it stops raining for a day.
  • Tacky Christmas lights.
  • Horse-sized seagulls.
  • Ghost hunting at Furness Abbey.
  • Knowing that people from Barrow are Barrovians and people from Walney are Walneyites.
  • The same music in every club on the Gaza Strip.
  • Feeling like a traitor when drinking in Dalton or Ulverston.
  • Being able to get a taxi straight away when you want one, not three hours later.
  • Gigs in the park.
  • The frog slide at Dalton Leisure Centre.
  • Taxi drivers’ life stories.
  • Marsh’s Sass.
  • Everyone knowing everyone else’s business.
  • No matter which way you look, you see the sea.
  • The pigeons.
  • The bloke on the corner of Portland Walk who sells the Evening Mail.
  • Being nearly run over by the street sweeping machine.
  • A chippy on practically every street.
  • Barrow carnival day even though it always rains.
  • Shengs.
  • The fact that you can get your hair cut in a different hairdressers every time because there is about three million of them.

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