IT’S been a bad week for Volkswagen, following the shock revelation that they rigged emission tests.

Senior executives at the beleaguered firm have this week been using phrases like “endlessly sorry” and “totally screwed up” as they desperately attempt to minimise the damage caused by the scandal over the rigging of car emission tests for some of their diesel models in the US.

The figures are staggering, with 11 million vehicles worldwide involved, seemingly containing a device in their engines that can detect when a test is being carried out (compared to normal road driving conditions), and change performance to improve the figures.

Assumingly this device simply detects if there’s an argument taking place, whether someone had just spilled a coffee in the footwell, is singing badly along to the high bits of Bohemian Rhapsody , or the repeated phrase “are we there yet?” is audible, and goes into “diesel dupe” mode if all of these are absent.

With their share price plummeting by a third in the two days following the story breaking, VW have put aside a staggering £4.7bn to cover the costs of recalling half a million of their dodgy motors.

To put that into context, that’s nearly as much as some top footballerists are paid.

And if your business card has the VW logo on it and contains “Exec” in the job title, it still manages to get even worse. US laws mean the firm could be fined up to £24k for every vehicle that fails to meet clear air rules.

In case you haven’t got enough fingers and toes to “do the math”, that could amount to $18bn in fines, which is almost as much I get paid for writing this column. Minus $18bn.

The top brass could also face criminal charges. If you think your week has been fairly ropey, it’s comforting to know that someone is having a far, far, worse time than you. Head Honcho Martin Winterkorn quit on Wednesday, which probably wasn’t what he had in his diary for the week and means he’ll miss donuts Friday, but at least he gets to start the weekend early. Maybe he could go for a nice drive.

So, apart from the catastrophic share price crash, costs to recall the affected cars, possibly vast fines and potential legal action, how bad is it really?

Well, if you have even a passing care about the planet, you’re hardly going to be rushing down to your local dealer for a test drive, are you?

And then there’s the fact that a bunch of other countries have opened their own investigations.

If Herbie does go to Monte Carlo, he’d better make sure he doesn’t breathe out.

For the company that recently became the number one for global sales amongst car makers, it’s a devastating blow. Much like what comes out of their exhaust pipes, presumably.